2. Casual Thoughts

image c/o girlincalico

I’m in the no-zone again. The one where I am not happy or sad. Just hanging in there somewhere. I have things to do, but my hsp side just wishes to grab a blanket and sleep, cocooned in the warmth of my blanket. Then there is my hss side, yearning to do something new. It knows we are in the middle of things and can not afford to do something new, but it isn’t listening. I have only been able to calm it down by indulging it with some ‘simple life’ videos on YouTube.

Nature always help. So does music – the right kind of music. This time its something on the piano – that calm, semi-classical, orchestra type, that is usually played in period dramas. Too bad I’ve finished with all my period dramas. Most recent being Anne with an E. The hsp-hss duo would have loved watching some of those today. They usually do at such times. Now all I can do is sigh. I could sleep but I know my hss side might not like it – wasting a day sleeping when instead, we could have done something productive.

I wish I could insert here the music I am listening to right now. It sort of takes me to a time where everything is calm and still. I need to learn that – being still again. Technology has in some ways stolen something precious from us and it is only in these serene quiet moments I realize that. Is it sad? I think it is. May be that is why I always turn to coffee at such times. The taste and the scent takes me back to a serene place in my heart and my soul.

What a rare and precious gift it is – to dress in that warm sweater and sweatpants and sit on that wilted but comfortable cushion chair, hands wrapped around a cup of hot coffee, hairs in a messy top bun, the sun kissing the skin on my face, while I listen to some soothing music or read my favorite book or just let silence be my music, and watch my plants – green and healthy, swaying to the gentle breeze. What a pleasure, what pure fun.

Sigh. If only I was Anne with an E with a cottage at the countryside. Minus the orphan part of course. The Cuthberts will have to do as neighbours or or maybe, family friends. Ah, wishful thinking and all that stuff. Now I will have to make do by reading the series.

Signing off,

With hope that we can all find our happy place.

1. To be still again

HSP-HSS tip: The video that inspired this post. I have been watching many of these on days when I am overwhelmed and need a break from everyday life.

Lately, I have been learning how to be still again.


So much of life passes by in a blur, as I keep on trying to see the gains and work for things on my bucket list.

How many times have my thoughts taken a backseat, in the last couple of years, as I sat down to just be still and observe life around me?

Very few.

I can’t even remember most of them. The ones I do, have all been materials for my writing. Like I said, I haven’t been still for some time. Most of us aren’t. Life it seems, happen to us in wins and loses. Things that will keep us socially ahead of others.

Is this how I wish to spend the next decade? To look back, only to find I can’t find or remember things to appreciate in my past? Life even at its hardest and saddest parts, has things worth remembering. Is being alive not a reason enough to be happy?

I recall reading somewhere that as you grow, years pass by in a blur. It is the days or rather small moments that remain with you forever. These are the times itched in your memories as you try to look back and ask what kind of life you had and whether you were happy.

I do not remember all the things that happened to me last year. I can’t even recall all the things that happened to me in the last two weeks of this year. All I can remember is the way I felt in most of these moments. What I remember is these moments. I think that is why I need to be still. To be able to appreciate the small things in my life that will eventually become the way I felt at this stage of my life.

Life is passing me on a high lane – fast and furious; and I am struggling to catch up. I am overwhelmed, I am underwhelmed but I am not at peace. I am not still. I don’t see life as it happens to me. I see life at 2x speed. All the more reason for me to slow down.

I wish to breathe in the fresh air of the morning, smell the flowers and take notice of the changing seasons. I wish to hear the fire crackling in the hearth and smell the aroma of my coffee. I wish to remember these countless small moments that in a few years I may forget. I wish to experience joy in every moment I live.

I know there will be times when things will be difficult in life. At such times, I hope I can recall the joy I found in this quiet, and be brave and have faith in life and myself.

I no longer wish to dread life and be the person who looks at things and wonders what might go wrong. This way of thinking might have kept me away from dangers but will they always? And at what cost? Can anything guarantee our safety at all times?

My life is not less important. I have things I wish to do, places I mean to visit, but if I can’t do any of these – I’ve to remember that it doesn’t make my life any less. I have come to realize this by consciously telling myself to slow down.

Slowing down, observing things around me, appreciating them has given me mental peace.

No matter where we are, which ladder of the social hierarchy we find ourself on, slowing down for some moments in our life is a gift each one of us deserves.

It is in these moments we feel nature’s magic in our lives. These are the moments we fall in love with ourselves and our life, again and again. Because life doesn’t always have to be an adventure, sometimes it can be a moment of meditation too.